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When my sons, Jacob and Isaac, were just 3 and 1, my husband and I separated.As a child of a divorce, I'd always sworn that I'd never put my kids through that -- yet as it turned out, living paycheck to paycheck and trying to do our own growing up while raising a family proved to be too great a strain on our marriage: It bent, cracked, and finally broke.I felt like a flake -- not a strong, capable mother who was going teach her children to succeed despite the obstacles ahead.

Then one day, my best friend and co-parent was gone from my life. Okay, that was an exaggeration -- but it's how it felt at the time, and it prompted me into action.

Try to say yes to serving nutritious family dinners, scheduling regular bedtimes, and being prompt for pickups and drop-offs.

For a while, it was overwhelming, but we eventually created chaos lite.

Gary Neuman, Parents advisor and author of Helping Your Child Cope with Divorce the Sandcastles Way.

When my divorce was new, talking with my ex was painful.

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